I hate to start a blog post with “I haven’t posted in a while…” but there’s no way around it. I haven’t posted in a while. I gave myself a 2 month hiatus while I have adjusted to this completely different life I now lead called motherhood.
I knew I would want some time off from blogging in this short time with my newborn and husband before he deployed 2 days ago. Now that he’s gone and my dear daughter is beginning to show glorious signs of a real sleep schedule, I think I am ready to get back in the swing of things.
I have so much to share. From her birth story to first days, early weeks of sleep deprivation, spit up being a part of every outfit, dancing to the sound of the furnace, baby products I can’t live without, baby products I shouldn’t have wasted my money on, and so many moments in between that I could have never imagined would make me so unbelievably happy.
I’m now officially a Mom Blogger, y’all.
And now, introducing my beautiful muse: Adelaide River.
Last night my husband and I were praying before sleep, and I decided we needed to break the cycle of just asking for things. Asking for favor at his job, asking for help fixing my broken car, asking for healing for his sprained knee, asking for his leave paperwork to go through so we can take our last trip home before the baby comes. Always asking.
It’s not bad to ask for things. The bible says “ask and you shall receive.” So oftentimes we don’t receive because we don’t ask. Hubs has been great at getting my head around this fact, and not feeling guilty for asking things of God, who can orchestrate and provide anything I could possibly ask for. It’s just taken me some years of experiencing that grace to come to terms with it.
But last night after we were done praying for God to work in our lives, I just said, “Can we just list off a bunch of things we’re thankful for for a minute? Like anything at all.” From the health of our puppies to the rose bush in our front yard (blooming for the 3rd time this year!) we thanked the Father for everything He has provided for us, material and immaterial.
Of course it brought us into the many immeasurable things to do with our growing daughter and my pregnancy to be thankful for. Hubs got silly at this point, “God, thank you that my wife is carrying this baby… So I don’t have to,” but I got teary thanking Him for the perfection of His design for not only her body, but mine to carry and develop her. And thanking Him for allowing us to take part in creation… It’s just so incredible. It’s humbling and overwhelming.
By the end of us going through everything we could think of, I felt so amazing and at peace. And I realized that this is where I want to be right now. As long as I’m standing in a posture of gratitude towards God, I have peace and I stop wanting more. I realize what I have, all that I have, was freely given and is more than I could ever ask for or need. It’s interesting too, that the first things we mentioned were in general all material things, and then as the thankfulness continued it began to be more for immaterial things like our marriage and His presence in our home.
So today I’m choosing a posture of gratitude. I’m choosing to see the Him in everything. I’m choosing to stop asking and to just be thankful. But to know that when the time comes when I need to ask, to be thankful for the certainty that He will answer me.
“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.” James 1:17