Stretch & Scare

We (I…) had a bit of a scary thing happen the other day. 

I started having a strong, sharp pain on the left side of my abdomen Tuesday afternoon. It started out in one area then felt like it was running from my ribs all the way down to my groin, all along the left side of my abdomen. Honestly started out feeling like a pulled muscle. But it progressively got really intense, hurting whether I was sitting, standing or laying down. 

I really got worried when it began hurting intensely when I urinated. I wasn’t even pushing my urine stream, and it was still a super stabbing pain. It was a constant battle all day of trying to fight off the evil thoughts and stay positive. Since I haven’t felt the baby move yet, it’s hard not to worry something could be wrong. I’ve been dying to be able to feel it move, just so I can have that peace of mind at the very least.

By the end of the night, I was in tears and the pain spiked at about an 8 on a scale of 1-10 when I urinated. I actually have a fairly high pain tolerance, too. Hubs immediately made me lay down and prayed over me. I love when he prays – he has a crazy gifting of faith in chaotic situations that makes me feel so at ease. We prayed that the pain would just melt away in my sleep. I was so scared in the moment I was just bawling. But I was able to fall asleep.

In the morning, the pain was gone. I could tell that I shouldn’t stretch or strain the area still, but I haven’t felt the same pain since. Hoping it was just this muscle that my registered massage therapist friend described that runs along the sides of my abdomen and can get crazy stretched during pregnancy. Over the last week my tummy has gotten a lot more pregnant looking so that would make sense.

Anywho, trying to see that little scare as a teaching moment to stay calm when I don’t know what’s happening, and just trust God’s design for my body. He wouldn’t put my body through something it couldn’t handle. He designed this process to be possible. He made my body to hold and grow my baby. I can do this without fear that I couldn’t manage the process. 

And also to remember that He has gifted me with an unbelievable husband who desires to love me like Jesus and be the best father to this little life that he can be. He’s doing a damn good job so far.

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15w4d

Finally truly looks like I’m pregs and not just that I maybe ate a big lunch or haven’t done a crunch since 2010. Belly feels harder and junk. Crazy stretching pains all along the sides of my abdomen pretty much all the time. Getting up is getting difficult. I almost passed out in church this week – I couldn’t get comfortable in the chairs and felt lightheaded, and I feel like there wasn’t adequate oxygen flow in the room. I’m most comfortable sitting/laying at a slight incline with my feet curled up next to me. Also starting to have lower back soreness, and my tailbone randomly started being sensitive to hard surfaces the other day. Pregnancy is weird.

A lot of women say they can feel baby move by this point. It’s supposed to feel like gas, or other bodily functions. How am I supposed to know, then? I haven’t felt anything that I could even question as being baby moving. It’s making me go crazy. At night I’ll like hold my breath and try to concentrate real hard on the area where my belly sticks out the most and wait for some kind of squirming to happen. Nothin yet. Hopefully soon. I wanna feel the nugget in there, as creepy as that thought actually is.

Other than that, I’ve got so much energy and appetite back, relatively. I can actually do things other than couch potato marathon during the day, though afternoon naps are pretty mandatory. And I get hungry for things! Lots of different kinds of foods! I can only eat about half the portion size I would normally eat before pregnancy but I feel healthier because of it. I love salads and fresh fruit. Anything fresh tasting. I had some pesto on a pizza the other day and the basil was so fresh it was amazing. No more nasty greasy food cravings thank God. 

Visiting our hometown has been really sweet, but it’s also made me really sad to have to go back tomorrow. I loved getting loved on my family and friends, it made the pregnancy feel more real to see their excitement. And then just the feeling of community – I miss it so much. We had it in such abundance for so long, and then now we are so isolated out there it feels wrong. I’m glad to have the adventure of somewhere new but there’s just something about Knoxville my heart will always gravitate towards.

Oh, yeah. Won’t find out the gender for another month, this is torture.